Tribalism

Humans are tribal and most of us belong to one or more tribes. Historically, these tribes were heavily influenced by family, location, and religion, and there often were not a lot of options for choosing your own tribe (especially in smaller villages with little diversity).

Today, we have a lot more options for choosing our own tribes. Examples of modern tribes include: Family, Friends, Social, Ethnic, Religion, Social and Economic, Location (if you ever lived in Texas, you know what I mean), and even sports teams.

Tribes can provide great benefits – identity, community, direction, etc. But not all tribes are created equal.

People participate in their tribes for different reasons. This doc does a pretty good job describing how this works.

Lets discuss two examples: sports and politics:

• Sports
  • Common triggers for supporting a team are:
    • Common enemy – This is obvious whenever the New England Patriots play in a superbowl.
    • Team – some people just like being part of a team. An interesting attribute of a sports team is that it’s the one group where you can go “all in” without fear of being rejected.
    • Sense of us – I think this is why so many people jump on the bandwagon when their team is doing well. When Seattle won the superbowl in 2014, there was an unbelievable amount of community.
  • Because there is no real danger, collective gain, or mission/vision/leader in a sports team, people are passionate about their team, but often much less so than they are about other tribes.
    • But don’t make the mistake I made of rooting for the Seahawks in Houston – it might not go well.

• Politics
  • Common triggers for supporting a politician are:
    • Danger – If you think that liberals are going to take your guns, turn all of your boys into girls, and/or completely destroy the economy, this can be a powerful motivator. It’s also why negative attack adds work and why so many political platforms are based on fear.
    • Common enemy – The enemy is always the opposing party, so anybody that also opposes that party can become your friend. This is why many Republicans today find it easier to support Russia (while at the same time accusing the liberals as being communists).
    • Team – Team instincts are powerful and seductive. The Republicans do this pretty well, while the Democrats are not as united. Whenever a Republican breaks with the party line, they are immediately decried as a RINO (i.e. not really a member of a team).
    • Sense of us – Candidates attempt to identify with all groups (even those that rail against those same groups), and make them believe that they will be good for the collective “us”. I’m perplexed as to why Palestinians in key swing states believed Trump over Harris (and why they feel “betrayed” right now).
    • Collective gain – Many people vote based solely on what will benefit their tribe the most (even if it doesn’t necessarily benefit them personally).
    • Mission, Vision, or Leader Loyalty – I don’t think that this needs any explanation.
  • I fondly remember the few short weeks after 9/11 when the country came together:
    • The danger and the common enemy was external and known – this united us.
    • The attacks were heartbreaking and created empathy, allowing us to temporarily expand our notion of “team” and “sense of us”.
    • President Bush spoke with passion that resonated with many (at the time). His response was the primary reason why he won the popular vote for his second term.

Tribal hierarchies

We can be members of different tribes (i.e. you can be a Dallas Cowboys fan, a Democrat, and a Hindu), so we normally give different weights to each tribe.

One common hierarchy that I’ve heard is “God, Family, Country”.

Of these three, “Family” is a well defined tribe often with its own hierarchy. For example, an old Arab proverb says “I against my brother. I and my brother against my cousin. I, my brother, and my cousin against the world”.

When people say “God”, they normally mean their specific brand of religion (often with their own hierarchies) and when they say “Country”, they normally mean their own political views.

These hierarchies can shift. For example, if you spend lots of time watching certain news sources and less time attending church, you can unknowingly invert the “God” and “Country” hierarchies.

Also, we might inherit tribes simply by association. For example, I’ve read that many non-religious MAGA supporters often identify as “Christian” simply because the two identities often go together.

The individual and the tribe

As I learned from Jonathan Haidt, we evolved less to care about absolute/objective truth and more about our position in the tribe. When a tribe states a new belief that was not previously held by an individual, the individual typically spends more brain energy looking for reasons to justify believing in the new thing (any reason will do – intellectual rigor is not required) rather than looking for the objective truth. For example:

• Many individuals drastically changed their opinions of vaccination as their tribes took a stronger stance.
• I know people who now believe that Ukraine started the war with Russia simply because the President made this claim.
• In the church in which I was raised (Mormonism), often when a leader dies the new leader will change the entire focus of the church and the membership normally follows along without any concern (even when they imply that the previous leader was wrong).

But as individuals, we do have the power to change tribes or to drink less of our tribe’s Kool-Aid. For example:

• I know many political people who identify more with one party than the other, but can see good points in the other party and the flaws within their own. These people are not compelled to vote with the party line.
• Many people (myself included) go on faith journeys and change their beliefs.

Searching for objective truth may not be the human default, but we are all capable of it. This does usually require some extra effort on our part, however, and an acknowledgement that our current beliefs may be wrong (which is hard).

What if your tribe is a cult (or cult-like)?

There is no single agreed upon definition of a cult. However, arguing whether a tribe is an actual cult vs. merely cult-like is often a distinction without a difference. Such tribes are inherently controlling and destructive, and recognizing and leaving such a tribe is usually very painful. Anybody going through this process deserves all of our support (and not an “I told you so”).

There is no single definition of a cult, but four common characteristics are:

• Authoritarian control – There is usually a leader who tells you how to think, act, and feel with little room for questioning or dissent.
• Suppression of critical thinking – Outside information is discouraged and there is never a valid reason to leave the tribe.
• Isolation from the outside world – This doesn’t have to be physical. Leaders might discourage close friendships outside of the tribe (unless you are trying to convert them into the tribe, in which case “love-bombing” is a common practice).
• Focus on a charismatic leader – It often requires unwavering loyalty to a leader who is an infallible source of truth.

If the above looks familiar, please seek an outside perspective from somebody outside of your tribe (preferably a therapist).